Lost in my own world I think of no one, I am so busy yet so free to act upon………..
I look around and this silence is killing me, how can people act? Don’t they get tired…? I can see they want something else… they too want to fly and get released but they can’t do it in reality.
They have to pretend if they need to live.
We live and work for what? For the joy or for nothing…. Such confusion yes I have in my mind.. Still I go on and on… I feel bad for some things in my life that I know I miss but which may be or may not be in my hands.
I think and re-think and then for a second I find an answer but then again nothing comes to my hand.. Its pain its funny such a mixed emotion.
I laugh when I think how I reacted a day back and how I am today. Every moment is a learning experience.
I know things will change and it is changing every second, it will no longer be the same, I will see new things in life, I will face pain and trouble and I will meet different people but down the memory lane I will have all the treasure of this world in my heart and mind.
I will feel pain when I will think about it when I will go back but there will be no option left, I can only rejoice the time I had spend as it was a part of me, my life within me. I try to pretend but then I fail I feel a pain when I know I am not made for this, I have something for myself for my own.
I am what I am but between this two I am someone who loves to smile a lot, run and touch the sky, make people happy, catch butterflies, smell the flowers, sing songs, dance in the rain….. So much to explore and live that child within me but with time I have to leave all this with me inside me… I will not be able to express my things my feelings with myself I have to be quiet…. I have to see and smile but it will be hard to unexplore all those moments that will make me what I am rather then what I am forced to do.
Is it really so difficult to do things of your choice? Is it too much that I have asked for…. I really don’t know. May be I am thinking too much, may be all the people in this world don’t think the way I do…. I may have to change or to live my dream there is no third option...
There is so much to know and all say we have time for all but do we really have time?? Can anyone predict, NO?
How do I know all this, the answer to the questions of those things which I am not clear about?
Everything and everyone changes for good and better, it’s the fact of life which we cannot challenge and it has to happen today or tomorrow. I talk with people know about their feelings some told some hidden and realize all go through the same but some concentrate on the things that will not lead them anywhere, but I know I can do nothing about it.
I am so happy for a time and so sad the very moment for no reason.. Can I capture those moments and play it back when I have tears in my eyes, Is this possible? Life is so complicated and so is we human beings. I want to express my feelings most of the time and on the other hand I tend to suppress everything. I know I will be happy if I let my feelings grow. Then why do I think about people who may or may not be with me when I need them the most, I tend to waste my time thinking about this?
Can I change for better for me and myself? Yes I can do and I have to do
I look around and this silence is killing me, how can people act? Don’t they get tired…? I can see they want something else… they too want to fly and get released but they can’t do it in reality.
They have to pretend if they need to live.
We live and work for what? For the joy or for nothing…. Such confusion yes I have in my mind.. Still I go on and on… I feel bad for some things in my life that I know I miss but which may be or may not be in my hands.
I think and re-think and then for a second I find an answer but then again nothing comes to my hand.. Its pain its funny such a mixed emotion.
I laugh when I think how I reacted a day back and how I am today. Every moment is a learning experience.
I know things will change and it is changing every second, it will no longer be the same, I will see new things in life, I will face pain and trouble and I will meet different people but down the memory lane I will have all the treasure of this world in my heart and mind.
I will feel pain when I will think about it when I will go back but there will be no option left, I can only rejoice the time I had spend as it was a part of me, my life within me. I try to pretend but then I fail I feel a pain when I know I am not made for this, I have something for myself for my own.
I am what I am but between this two I am someone who loves to smile a lot, run and touch the sky, make people happy, catch butterflies, smell the flowers, sing songs, dance in the rain….. So much to explore and live that child within me but with time I have to leave all this with me inside me… I will not be able to express my things my feelings with myself I have to be quiet…. I have to see and smile but it will be hard to unexplore all those moments that will make me what I am rather then what I am forced to do.
Is it really so difficult to do things of your choice? Is it too much that I have asked for…. I really don’t know. May be I am thinking too much, may be all the people in this world don’t think the way I do…. I may have to change or to live my dream there is no third option...
There is so much to know and all say we have time for all but do we really have time?? Can anyone predict, NO?
How do I know all this, the answer to the questions of those things which I am not clear about?
Everything and everyone changes for good and better, it’s the fact of life which we cannot challenge and it has to happen today or tomorrow. I talk with people know about their feelings some told some hidden and realize all go through the same but some concentrate on the things that will not lead them anywhere, but I know I can do nothing about it.
I am so happy for a time and so sad the very moment for no reason.. Can I capture those moments and play it back when I have tears in my eyes, Is this possible? Life is so complicated and so is we human beings. I want to express my feelings most of the time and on the other hand I tend to suppress everything. I know I will be happy if I let my feelings grow. Then why do I think about people who may or may not be with me when I need them the most, I tend to waste my time thinking about this?
Can I change for better for me and myself? Yes I can do and I have to do
Perhaps this is called lost in self! What happens is we want a thing and we get something else. Do you read Rabindranath Tagore? He has asnwere to all. He said " Jaha Chai Taha Bhuul Kore Chai, Jaha Paai Taha Chahi Na".....means...what I want is what i wanted by chance or mistake, what we get are what we never wanted.
ReplyDeleteWhen I see a azure sky, there is a purpose. Life is all with purposes. If you are completely blank in your mind, it has also some purpose. You love to catch butterfly, but do you love to spend a bonded life? Try enjoying the beauty of life as it is, in free way. A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
I trust you are in a world of conflict. You know what you can not do but you love to do it! May be your expectation from your life is too high.May be you wanted to be someone but have become someone. What we always bear and carry in our mind is a optimized successful imagae of our digital self. It is you but with different entity. Since we both have this intrisic property by default, we have variation of moods, desires and dreams. Thats how our life continues with all its colours and never become monotonous. Thats why you change your dress every day! it seems funny but this is what happens.
Had I been you, I would have felt the same way as you are feeling. But i would suggest, do not think about this fluctuating sorrow and happiness cycle. The sanskrit says "Chakrabat paribartante, sukhani cha dukhani cha". The Cycle of happiness and melancholy is like day and night.
I trust, you a bit more worried about your thoughts. Obviously thoughts will be yours, but it should not make all the blogs of yours the same! Indeed they are. Somewhere they always sing about your sorrow and unfulfillment. Think this way, a flower never blosoms for herself. Unfurl your mind for others. This does not mean give access to your softest part but gain access to their thought process. You will feel a better spectra of humankind psychology. Try to feel why am I (the author of this comment)unhappy and you will find a way to happiness in your life.
Freedom is in yuour mind. Your name suggests you are from mountains. I can imagine your long hairs, fair complexion. It is not because I saw your photo in your blog but just trying to imagine how would you look through your writings. I bet, you will be less restless if I take you to Rangit river in Sikkim and mnake you sit all the day rather than sitting in a confined room asking to write the same set of words all the day on 100 papers. Because we are born free. Free your mind. Never try to think by compulsion but it should come to you freely!
May be today it is enough to stop my writing. I am not as good a write as you are. But I liked your writing and your feelings. It is so restless but so versatile. So wild but so aromatic. May be you need the right spark in you to channelise your life in the right way (I am not saying you are on a wrong one!) and you will feel the difference.
You may feel my comments a bit harsh or meaningless to you and my apologies for that. But I seldom write comments to anyone! But you are beautiful and so your writings are. Concentrate your beauty of writing in a more concrete way and I believe, your blogs will never be the same again. Trust me.
Nirasa Nayane, Niraghaana Sinchhane
Pulakito Mukulo Abalambo
Swed Makaranda, bindu bindu chuuyaato
Bikashito Bhaav Kadambo
This is a poem in Maithily language (ancient). Try to grab its meaning. May be if you are comfortable with my feelings, we can have a chat on this. I am reachable at
getaranya@gmail.com
Thank you so much for your comment. It was really a meaningful thought from your end and definitely it gave me more clarity.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your time
Cheers,
Rosna
well..
ReplyDeletei started to read then i had only one thing to tell u ..
stop thinking!
Thanks Intruder...
ReplyDeleteYou are right I need to stop thinking hahaha
Cheers,
Rosna